What I Want Is a Proper Cup of Coffee

"You have now reached the audience participation portion of our album
This is an old sing-a-long song, and what we'd like for you to do is listen to
The chorus of this song, and then we want you all to sing along."

A Sultan sat on his oriental mat, in his harem in downtown Persia
He took a sip of coffee, just a drip, and he said to his servant Kersia
"Ah, curse ya, curse ya, curse ya! That's the worst cup of coffee in Persia!"

Cause...
All I want is a proper cup of coffee, made in a proper copper coffee pot
I may be off my dot, but I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me!
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot, I'll have a cup of tea!

"Ya got it? well join right in!"

In days of old when knights and men were bold, and whiskey was much cheaper
Ben Turpin
rode to a coffee shop and showed his pistols to the keeper
He said, "Stand and deliver! Can't you see that I'm all aquiver?"

Cause...
All I want is a proper cup of coffee, made in a proper copper coffee pot
I may be off my dot, but I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me!
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot, I'll have a cup of tea!
When Bonaparte found that he was in the cart and he lost that Waterloo fight

He gave his sword to Wellington
, my Lord, and he said "Those British can't half fight!
Now you've had your Waterloo
, sir, tell me what am I having with you, sir?"

Cause...
All I want is a proper cup of coffee, made in a proper copper coffee pot
I may be off my dot, but I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me!
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot, I'll have a cup of tea!

"Well, we didn't exactly expect you to sing along with that last part since
It was in French
. This is your last chance, however it is the people's magazine
Version of this song, and it goes like this:"

Now King Solomon and his queen would carry on, so we heard in the ancient scandals

He bought her lots of silver coffee pots with diamond legs and handles

And said the Queen of Sheba, "I'd rather have any old tea-bag."

Cause...everybody!
All I want is a proper cup of coffee, made in a proper copper coffee pot
I may be off my dot, but I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me!
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot, I'll have a cup of tea!

(speeds up here)
All I want is a proper cup of coffee, made in a proper copper coffee pot
I may be off my dot, but I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me!
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot, I'll have a cup of tea!

All I want is a proper cup of coffee, made in a proper copper coffee pot
I may be off my dot, but I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me!
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot, I'll have a cup of tea!